Bring It

Today, I went out for a dinner appointment. As I passed by the living room, I noticed that my father had a guest. They were eating pizza in front of the TV. I nodded a pleasant hello since they were in conversation. And, then as I passed by the seating area near the TV space, I noticed that the guest had brought his family, and they were sitting down having pizza for dinner as well. I nodded a pleasant hello and walked out.

Then, when I reached my car, I noticed a big, white thing sitting right in front of the gate. In the driveway. Blocking my way. It was their car. Ten thousand parking spaces right beside my house, and where do they park? Right in front of my house. Right in front of the freaking driveway and gate.

I took a breath, and made up my mind. I started my car, and hoped that whoever the driver is would notice and realise, because if I had to go in there to call the driver out, it will not be pretty.

The oldest boy came running out, saying "Sorry! Sorry!" I didn't give him a chance. I said to him, as friendly as possible (if that is at all possible), "Next time, use your brain lah. That's a driveway. For cars and people to come in and out. How are they supposed to do that if you're blocking the way?"

So, where did he move the car to? The parking spot right beside the driveway.

Why didn't he do that before?

What's up with people blocking exits and entrances? What's up with PARKING IN FRONT OF THE DRIVEWAY? You think no one's going to be coming in or out? HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT? What the hell is up with making assumptions like that?

I drove off fuming a little.

I told Ninja Cat what happened when I picked him up for dinner, and he said, "You told off your father's guest?"

I said, 'Yeah."

What's up with me? I told off my father's guest!

His guest's son, lah. But, still, what's up with me?

Last week, a colleague of mine relinquished her responsibility and basically withdrew her support services from a major project, and dumped it on my colleague without so much as a by-your-leave or even orders from the top. She just dumped it, just like that, because, in her own words, "We're not getting any budget from this."

My colleague, who is a junior, with no experience whatsoever in the support service that she provides, is left holding the bag on a major project.

My mind boggled. What a vindictive, malicious, and petty way of striking out? She has a beef with my boss, and she's taking it out on my colleague.

We're all working for the same company, and she decided not to do her job anymore, at least not for any project that my team is working on, because she hates my boss' guts.

I was all ready to pick a fight with her, until my colleague stopped me.

That woman has extinguished any last lingering bit of respect that I have for her. Her name is mud, and that's what she is.

MUD.

I was ranting to Ninja Cat, who looked somewhat distracted, uncomfortable, and non-plussed all at the same time. And, I said, "I'm turning into a real bitch. I have to leave this job before I really become one."

And, he replied, "That's what you said the last time."

I keep saying that, and I wonder why. The corporate bullying and office politics are starting to wear away my patience and my ability to be centred and focused. I go to sleep, seething with the need for revenge.

I tried a guided meditation yesterday, and I couldn't keep my mind focused.

I'm starting to amaze myself with how creative I can be with revenge, and I'm not proud of myself for that.

I'm dreading Monday, and having to bring my game face on. I hate it. I hate this. And, I'm so on the edge, I'm just waiting for someone to pick a fight with me.

The only thing I will say is, if anyone wants to start anything with me this week, they better bring it. Because I'm all packed with firepower and raring to let go.